Talking...

While sitting at the table, and presumably contemplating the many times we've asked our children not to talk with their mouths full of food:

S (6 y/o): I was just about to say that it's rude to talk with your mouth open.

Sprinkle my nipples with hot sauce

Today's impromptu improvised song lyrics, sung at full volume by the 6 y/o while playing with her marble run, which is one of the noisiest toys in the known universe, particularly since she has collected all her siblings' marbles and has a fairly continuous stream of marbles running through it

"Sprinkle my nipples,

Sprinkle my nipples,

Sprinkle my nipples, with hot sauce,

With hot, hot, hot, hot sauce.

So that I will Aaaaaaarghh!

Because I need to make more noise..."

Words to live by...

We're discussing something wise that someone on the TV news said, and S (6 y/o) is colouring at the table - but always listening. Always. Listening.

Me (to my wife): "Words to live by!"

S (6 y/o, thoughtfully): "I wouldn't like to live by words. I'd prefer to live by woods [a forest.]"

Impromptu multilingual breakfast poetry from the 6 y/o:

"Are you about to poo?

Værsågod!" 

("You're welcome" in Norwegian)

Counting aggressively

Having children is #8...

Realising there is such a thing as aggressive counting - while listening to my 11 y/o playing hide and seek. Terrifying...

Target audience

My six-year old really gets target audiences, to a level I had not truly appreciated until now

Me: What are you watching?

6 y/o: "My Little Pony." It's not suitable for Daddies because there's no tea or coffee in it.

Covering all possibilities...

We're discussing sleep and dreams at the dinner table...

C [9 y/o] : There was this one time in real life, or maybe in a dream, when I was...{remainder of statement drowned out by various laughter around the table.}