Four noodles...

I have realised that some of the things my children say really only make sense in our own home, and only barely there... 

S (9 y/o): "Can you fill the kettle for about four noodles, and, you know, push it down?"

French bag...

Just the totally normal kind of conversation that my 9 y/o and I have.

S (9 y/o, sung completely unprompted, at full volume):
"What do you do with the drunken sailor?
What do you do with the drunken sailor?
What do you do with the drunken sailorrrrrr?
Put him in a French bag!"

Me: What's a French bag?

S: It's a bag. That's very French!

Me: Okay, but how do you know if a bag is a French bag?

S: It goes around saying, "French Bag! French Bag!"

Me: ...

S: And it has "French Bag" written on it.

Language

I find language fascinating, particularly how the same words can be interpreted differently by different people.

For example, today I asked my son to break up and recycle the pile of cardboard on the living room floor. We just completed a large IKEA build and so have many boxes to recycle.

Somehow, he has interpreted this as me asking him to hit the boxes with his Star Wars light sabre, and spread the cardboard over the entire living room floor.

"Recycle"... "Hit with light sabre"... Language is tricky.

Mistakes

I am the proud parent of a child who has declared she will never make a mistake ever again...

S (9 y/o): Now that I'm nine, I've given up making mistakes. I've made enough mistakes and now I'm bored of making mistakes.

Late night thirst

The 10-year old appears from his bedroom far past his bed time.

Mother: Go to bed, please.

C (10 y/o): But I'm thirsty

Mother: Go to bed

C (precociously): Mammy, there are people who don't drink enough water... and they die!

WotD: Rescription

Another Word of the Day, this time from S (9 y/o):

Rescription, noun

The description you have to give to someone because they were not paying attention or listening the first time around.

Example: "Eeugh! My sister wasn't paying sufficient attention to me, so now I have to give her a rescription of the pixel pet I need her to make for me."

Note that rescription is already a word, but she's only nine, so I think we can allow this alternate definition.

WotD: Disrespectrum

 In a brand new tangent from my children, they have now set about just making up words.

Today's Word of the Day (WotD) from C (12 y/o):

Disrespectrum, noun.

The spectrum/range of disrespect that various people are due. For example, sometimes she's disrespectful to her sister when she says something silly. In contrast, she doesn't like her younger brother, because he smells, so she has to be far more disrespectful to him.

Trampolines and water

 S (9 y/o): What should I do now? I can't go on the trampoline because I just ate and had water...

Just one of the very serious questions parents have to handle on a daily basis.

Too much sugar

We made cupcakes today, and upon enjoying his my son maybe appreciated just how much sugar there is in them.

C: (10 y/o): I didn't think I would ever say this, but I think I might have eaten too much sugar!

Don't drink drugs!

S (8 y/o): Why people tell other people to drive safely?

Me: It's a nice thing to say, and Mammy's about to start a long drive.

S: So it's a nice thing to say, like how you tell people going to the toilet to not fall in?

Me: I think that's just something I say. Maybe don't say that to too many people.

S: And it's like how we tell people going to a party, "Don't drink drugs!"

Me: ???

This led to a conversation where she considered that maybe it's okay to eat drugs at a party, but definitely not drink them. I'm not sure what she and her 8-year old friends are getting up to at parties, but I'll be watching her carefully ;-P

Which skull?

There comes a point when the language of the next generation diverges from, and becomes incomprehensible from the generation before. I think we have reached that point in this house, based on the following conversation at the dinner table.

C (12 y/o): If you don't stop, I'll stab you in the skull.

S (8 y/o): Which one?

All children: <loud laughter, almost as if this made sense?!?>

Kneecaps...

 C (12 y/o): Ha ha! Joke's on you! I keep my kneecaps in my pocket.

Nope - I've literally no idea what inspired this comment...

Science... or prosecco...

The 8 y/o is carrying an arm loud of art supplies out of the kitchen and due to poor timing on her part, fails to operate the handle before kicking the door to open it. 

S (8 y/o kicks the door, which completely fails to open): *Thud*

S (8 y/o): Don't ask me why I almost broke down the door. The answer is always science. Or gin! Or prosecco!

I think her mother can be very confident that she has a strong influence on the children <tt>;-)</tt>

Buying love and affection

The 8 y/o is shopping with her grandmother, and doesn't really believe in subtlety...

S (8 y/o): "You can get love and affection if you buy us chocolate!"