Marriage

S (4 y/o daughter): When I grow up, I'm going to marry Daddy!
Mammy (curious and not at all defensive that the 4 y/o is attempting to steal her husband): Why is that?
S: Because he's very handsome.
Mammy: He is of course*. Why do you think that?
S: Because he wears lovely shirts


* This might be a slightly inaccurate transcription, but I like to think this is what my lovely wife thought, even if she didn't say it out loud.

My face

My son (6 y/o) is waving a Roblox character about 3cm from my face because I'm not paying enough attention to the marvel that is this plastic Roblox creation.

Daddy: Please do not wave things in my face.
C (6 y/o): Why not?
Daddy: Because I'm using my face.
C: No you're not.

Plurals

Parenting is contemplating the linguistic implications of:

"Roses is red,
Violets is blue,
Plurals is hard,
And grammar are too."