Covering all possibilities...

We're discussing sleep and dreams at the dinner table...

C [9 y/o] : There was this one time in real life, or maybe in a dream, when I was...{remainder of statement drowned out by various laughter around the table.} 

English and Normal

A discussion is ongoing about what languages we speak:

S [6 y/o]: I speak English, and Normal!

I assume she means "Norwegian" but it's quite hard to tell.

Hairstyles

You just can't get away with saying anything in this house...

Wife: "What do you think of my hairstyle? [6 y/o] said it's lovely."

6 y/o (trailing in behind my wife): "No! I said, 'What did you even do to it?!?'"

Dance-off

Having children is #7...

...being thankful that your six year old demonstrates in the privacy of our own home, that to her, a dance-off means that you should take your clothes off while dancing.

We still cannot explain why she was wearing multiple sets of underwear...

Fired

We're watching Gordon Ramsey's kitchen nightmare, which has become family TV viewing time. Some of the kitchen staff are not performing and have just been fired in the usual dramatic way of Gordon and US reality TV.

S (6 y/o): Mammy, if we started a restaurant, the first thing we'd do is fire Daddy.

Mammy: But we could get Daddy to do all the cooking.

S (after some brief consideration): Well, maybe he'd last one day before we fired him.

Good to know that my children have faith in me.

F**king Windows

S (6 y/o) is playing on the living room floor. It's also the first really sunny morning in weeks, so all the windows are open. Mammy is working on something on her laptop from the couch. It's not going well, as sometimes things on computers are want to do.

Mammy (frustratedly): F**king Windows!

Siún (helpfully): Do you want me to close the windows, Mammy?

Marbles...

Tidying is happening. The 11 y/o is picking up the things that have been distributed by her siblings. I'm working from home and hear a series of what sounds like marbles falling on to a wooden floor and rolling off in multiple directions.

11 y/o (frustrated): Who put marbles in a hat?

I'm not even surprised. A hat seems like a perfectly reasonable storage container for marbles.