From tonight's impromptu dinner-table singalong, from the 4 y/o:

(sung)
"I don't want to destroy the universe,
I just want to turn it into Ribena."

Fear of Storms

Rain starts falling after an unseasonably long dry-spell. We're sitting in the balcony, which is covered but a few drops blow in.
Daughter (4 y/o): Come inside, Daddy! Before your tea gets wet!
Son (6 y/o): Tea is already made of water.
Daughter: Come inside, Daddy, before you get too much water in your tea.

There was also some discussion between the two of them about having to come inside due to a ghost. No idea!

Whack in the Face?

While eating lunch on the balcony:
Daughter (4 y/o): Mammy, would you like a whack in the face?
Mammy: No, thank you.
Daughter (4 y/o, slightly disappointed, now brandishing a rainbow coloured sock): It's just with a smelly sock...

A fairly standard dinner conversation at our house: 
Daughter2 (4 y/o): Sweetcorn is grown like grapes, because they are both juicy. But they are different colours. And their juice tastes different.
Daughter1 (7 y/o): I know how to grow a potato. Put a potato in a bowl, and put no dirt in. And then water it. Then put in a tiny bit of food, which is dirt. And most importantly, keep it safe from greenfly.
Son (5 y/o,  shouting): And dinosaurs!
Daughter1 (7 y/o): They are extinct! They don't exist any more.
Daughter2 (4 y/o): Unicorns still exist. Just on a different planet!
Daughter1 (7 y/o): Yes. Unicornia: the heaven of unicorns. You can't exactly bring yourself to heaven with a teleporter, mostly because heaven doesn't really exist. And God doesn't really exist.
Mammy: Remember, you have to respect other people's opinions on religion too.
Daughter1 (7 y/o): Yes, like the way that you're not allowed to push us off a balcony.

Cork as 2018 World Cup Winners

Mammy (to 5 y/o son): Who are you supporting in the World Cup?
Son: I don't know. Are Cork playing?

I'm so proud ;-)

Chew Toys...

From almost a year ago, when C (then 5 years old) was chewing on one of her toys:

Mammy: Stop chewing things or I'll get you a chew toy for school.

C (5 years old): We're not allowed two toys. We're not allowed even one toy at school!

Bathroom rail infrastructure

Having children is #6...

Having to decide whether it's safe to get in and out of the shower without having to dismantle the complex railway infrastructure that is the newest feature of the bathroom floor.

(For the record, no. No it was not safe. The bathroom floor is once again clear of model railway.)