loo-roll

Having children is #2

Always having three separate toilet rolls on the go at any given point in time:

1. The almost dry one that's usable, if you're careful.
2. The completely sodden roll that's drying on the radiator because your son has discovered the sink is the best play-thing in the whole house. And now he's strong enough to turn on the taps, no matter how tight they're twisted closed.
3. The new, pristine dry one up on the high shelf, that's only for visitors.

slime

Having children is #1

Having children is not knowing whether the slime on the bathroom tap you've just touched is toothpaste or yoghurt... or something else.

Exercise Bike

C (4 y/o) is standing on the exercise bike trying to integrate a large clothes hanger into the handlebars, possibly. I'm not really sure, so I ask...

Daddy: What are you doing?
C: Exercise bike!!!!
Daddy: Random nouns are not great answers. What are you doing?
C: [deliberately drops large clothes hanger on the ground]  BooooooOOM!
Daddy: (questioning look...)
C: Exercise!!!

... I'm kinda sorry I asked, but somewhat impressed by the surreality of the exchange.

Krispies

Me (having heard my 2 y/o son spill Rice Krispies on the floor): "Did you eat any of your Krispies or did you spill them all on the floor?"
Son (having already consumed 5 chocolate mini-eggs he discovered on the top shelf of the fridge when he was left alone for 10 minutes earlier in the morning): "Yes!"

I'm not sure how to respond...

nofun

Me (to my wife): Some people are no fun.
C (2 year old): Did you not know that all adults are no fun?

Daddys

The 1 year old "Mammy,Daddys odd"
Me - "what did you say?"
The 1 year old- "Daddy is odd"

Fog horns

The 3 year old " Mammy,if we had a fog horn then we could tell all the fog to go away"