Trampolines and water

 S (9 y/o): What should I do now? I can't go on the trampoline because I just ate and had water...

Just one of the very serious questions parents have to handle on a daily basis.

Too much sugar

We made cupcakes today, and upon enjoying his my son maybe appreciated just how much sugar there is in them.

C: (10 y/o): I didn't think I would ever say this, but I think I might have eaten too much sugar!

Don't drink drugs!

S (8 y/o): Why people tell other people to drive safely?

Me: It's a nice thing to say, and Mammy's about to start a long drive.

S: So it's a nice thing to say, like how you tell people going to the toilet to not fall in?

Me: I think that's just something I say. Maybe don't say that to too many people.

S: And it's like how we tell people going to a party, "Don't drink drugs!"

Me: ???

This led to a conversation where she considered that maybe it's okay to eat drugs at a party, but definitely not drink them. I'm not sure what she and her 8-year old friends are getting up to at parties, but I'll be watching her carefully ;-P

Which skull?

There comes a point when the language of the next generation diverges from, and becomes incomprehensible from the generation before. I think we have reached that point in this house, based on the following conversation at the dinner table.

C (12 y/o): If you don't stop, I'll stab you in the skull.

S (8 y/o): Which one?

All children: <loud laughter, almost as if this made sense?!?>

Kneecaps...

 C (12 y/o): Ha ha! Joke's on you! I keep my kneecaps in my pocket.

Nope - I've literally no idea what inspired this comment...

Science... or prosecco...

The 8 y/o is carrying an arm loud of art supplies out of the kitchen and due to poor timing on her part, fails to operate the handle before kicking the door to open it. 

S (8 y/o kicks the door, which completely fails to open): *Thud*

S (8 y/o): Don't ask me why I almost broke down the door. The answer is always science. Or gin! Or prosecco!

I think her mother can be very confident that she has a strong influence on the children <tt>;-)</tt>

Buying love and affection

The 8 y/o is shopping with her grandmother, and doesn't really believe in subtlety...

S (8 y/o): "You can get love and affection if you buy us chocolate!"