Emergency Instructions

Today D [5 and a half years old] wrote an emergency page, to be used in case of attack by criminal elements. You might find it useful for your own emergencies involving robbers breaking into your house and stealing your things:

Emergency Instructions (by D, age 5 ½)

1. First, punch the robber in the face. (Uncle Niall must be so proud of the influence he's having on my darling children ;-)   ) 
2. Tell Mammy
3. Take back the things the robber stole
4. Mammy will ring the police
5. The police will come and take the robber to jail.

 Seems completely reasonable to me.

Superpowers

Me: "Caoimhe, what are your superpowers?"
Caoimhe: "I can make everybody love me."



She may have a point:)

Sisterly Love...

"AAGGHHHH,I hate my sister.
Mammy..Why do I hate my sister all the time except when she is gone, then I miss her?"

Polar Bears

Walking home from school today a big black dog came out of a driveway to sniff us..
Caoimhe informed me if he was sitting he would be a polar bear but as he was walking on 4 legs he was not.

Weapons

D (5-year old): What are weapons?
Mammy: Guns and knives are weapons. Most things could be used as weapons, even a pencil.
C (3-year old): So that's why were not allowed poke people with pencils, mammy?
Mammy (Inquisitively): Does that happen a lot, C?
C: No... Well, sometimes it happens a bit.

The benefits of remarriage...

We had been talking about coronations since the two elder girls are infatuated with Disney's Frozen:

D (5-years old): "The only way you'll become a king is to marry a queen."
Daddy: "Yes. Or a princess that's about to become a queen. But I don't think I have time to do that - I'm quite busy being married to Mammy."
D (over her shoulder, and in a tone that indicated I really should have thought of this before her): "Remarry!"

...so that's me (and my wife) told then, I guess...

D (5-year old): "Can I tell you a joke? Mammy thinks it's a bit funny."
Daddy: "Sure."
D: "Where do people keep their cars?"
Daddy (playing along): "I don't know. Where do people keep their cars?"
D: "On their car insurance!"
Mammy (leaving the room, laughing at the look on Daddy's face): "She heard it on the radio earlier and has remembered it wrong."
D (pointedly to Daddy): "I don't even know what car insurance is!!!"