Announcements

S (9 y/o): I almost always announce when I fart. Even when I'm at home. I'm not going to lie about it.

Exploding chickens

C (12 y/o, shouted without context at the kitchen table): "Don't explode my chickens! I need them!"

I think it's something to do with Minecraft, possibly?!?

Learn grammar

C (10 y/o): Go away and learn grammar!

Shouted to rebut some ludicrous and factually inaccurate aspersions his younger sister was attempting to cast in his direction. Solid come-back, boy-child ;-p

Granny

C (10 y/o): Do you think that Granny might be a man?

I just have no idea. None.

Four noodles...

I have realised that some of the things my children say really only make sense in our own home, and only barely there... 

S (9 y/o): "Can you fill the kettle for about four noodles, and, you know, push it down?"

French bag...

Just the totally normal kind of conversation that my 9 y/o and I have.

S (9 y/o, sung completely unprompted, at full volume):
"What do you do with the drunken sailor?
What do you do with the drunken sailor?
What do you do with the drunken sailorrrrrr?
Put him in a French bag!"

Me: What's a French bag?

S: It's a bag. That's very French!

Me: Okay, but how do you know if a bag is a French bag?

S: It goes around saying, "French Bag! French Bag!"

Me: ...

S: And it has "French Bag" written on it.

Language

I find language fascinating, particularly how the same words can be interpreted differently by different people.

For example, today I asked my son to break up and recycle the pile of cardboard on the living room floor. We just completed a large IKEA build and so have many boxes to recycle.

Somehow, he has interpreted this as me asking him to hit the boxes with his Star Wars light sabre, and spread the cardboard over the entire living room floor.

"Recycle"... "Hit with light sabre"... Language is tricky.