Phone charger physics...

My 7 year old is very smart, and sometimes I clearly fail to understand the the difference between being nice to her, and over explaining things. Her knowledge is wide-ranging and thorough, and my wife and I are glad that while she wants to be a surgeon in the future, she has agreed she may benefit some form of medical training before operating on actual people, and not - as she claimed previously - know enough already from YouTube.

Me: I have plugged my phone in, but if you need the charger for your tablet, you can just unplug my phone.

S ((7 y/o): I know Daddy. I know physics!

The Magical Food Press...

Being the gourmet cordon-bleu chef that I am, I have an oven tray of fish fingers laid out, and am waiting for the oven to reach cooking temperature before I put them in. S is clearly hungry and impatient. 

S (7-years old): Daddy, are you going to put the fish fingers in the fish finger press, where they belong?

Me: ??? Do you mean, the oven?

S: Yes.

P.S. We shall henceforth be referring to the oven as the "fish finger press."

P.P.S. For non-Irish readers, in an Irish kitchen, a press is a cupboard. I don't know why.

Christmas Orange

While making school lunch in the morning, and clearly considering the financial position of the school...

C (10 y/o): I want a Christmas orange. In Norway, oranges are very traditional at Christmas.

Me: Are they? They are very delicious.

C: Yes. In Norway, everyone at school gets an orange at Christmas... if the schools have budget.

Santa Claus not watching all the time

 S (7 y/o): I know that Santa is not watching me all the time?

Me: ???

S: Because he brought me loads of presents last year...

Can't argue with that logic...

Schrodinger's Zombie

I'm wearing a "Schrodinger's Cat" t-shirt, with the slogan, "Wanted: Dead & Alive" while eating porridge with S (7 y/o).

S (7 y/o): Zombies are dead and alive. (Thinks really hard about zombies for a moment.) I think zombies just want a hug. They walk around with their arms out because they like hugs. And they only say "Brains!" because they are hungry.

Future career...

C (8 y/o): Daddy, if you work at McDonald's, do you get free food?

Me: If you work there over lunch time or dinner time, yes - you can eat there.

C: Cool. Then I know where I'm going to work when I grow up.

clickbait

At the breakfast table this morning...

S (7 y/o): Daddy, Did you know that all your life, you've been making Weetabix wrong?

Me: ...?

S: First you put in two or three Weetabix, then you put Rice Krispies in the side, and THEN you pour in the milk. See?

We have got to stop watching 'clickbait' YouTube videos.