Being a parent #315...

Sometimes, being a parent is learning that if you go too far above your station, or overreach, there's nothing quite like a child to bring you crashing back down to earth.

It's dinner time, and I make some hugely hilarious Dad joke. Mirth ensues all around. But then I go too far, and the following conversation results:

Me: "You must be so lucky to have such a hilarious father, who tells such high quality Dad jokes - and who smells so lovely too."

S (7 y/o): "You smell terrible, Daddy! You smell like a rotten rat! A rotten rat that a skunk pooped on! And then the same skunk did a fart on you!"

D (12 y/o): "<Incoherent spluttering as she attempts not to laugh her mouth full of potato and freshly baked salmon all over the dinner table>"

Best parent

Overheard from the kitchen:

S (7 y/o): "Mammy, you're much better than Daddy. You're even better than him at make-up."

Fractions for seven year olds...

 S (7 y/o, thoughtfully): I'm a siúnicorn: half cat, half unicorn, and half person.

People from the Olden Days

We're in the kitchen, talking about different expressions people use when someone sneezes, while C does his best to avoid emptying the dishwasher.

Me: "In Germany, when someone sneezes, you say 'Gesundheit', which means 'good health' - even though sneezing usually doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. I guess people in the olden days didn't know as much about medicine as we do now."

C (8 y/o): "But Daddy, aren't you one of the people from the olden days?"

Learning from YouTube

 The 6 y/o has decided she will become a surgeon, while watching ER.

S (6 y/o): "I don't need to go to medical school. I can just learn everything from YouTube."

Misheard words

C (10 y/o, shouted at her younger sister): You're adopted!

S (8 y/o): You're a donkey too!

The scary bathroom...

 S (6 y/o, shouted while running down the stairs): It's okay! I'll use the scary bathroom!

I have no idea why one of our bathrooms is scary. None.