Trust

S (6 y/o, while under the kitchen table for some reason): Oh no! There's dirt stuck to my pyjamas. I knew I shouldn't have trusted these pyjamas.

Relativistic cleanliness...

This is just the most recent morning argument re clothes between my son and wife. I agree with her, that children should wear clothes that, at the very least, start out clean each morning. My son has other opinions.

Mammy: Change into some clean clothes please

C (7 y/o): These ARE clean!

Mammy: They are not - you wore them all weekend, and slept in them last night.

C: They are clean. They're cleaner than you!

Even the most cursory glance would show that they were not...

I'm not tired...

The parents are not cooperating and caving to whatever bizarre and urgent demands the 6 y/o is having, at the end of the long day. But she's not tired. Definitely not...

S (6 y/o, shouted.): Mommeeeeeee!

Mammy (to me): She's very tired.

S (shouted): I'm not tired! If I was tired, I wouldn't be shouting!

A second toilet...

We've had three weeks with only one working toilet in the house, because a part needed to be shipped from overseas to fix the second toilet. This has not been a huge hardship, or at least, I thought we were managing quite well with only one toilet, until I spoke with my 6 year old.

Me: The plumber called and he has received the part he needs, so he's going to come tomorrow to fix the toilet, and then we'll have two working toilets again.

S (6 y/o, excited as a child might be when they receive a surprise box, and open it to reveal the toy they had given up hope that they would ever receive, and they can't quite believe that this is for them): You mean we'll have two working toilets? That would be like a dream come true!

The importance of context...

In all things, context is important. C (9 y/o) was playing and I overheard the following - and readied myself for one of those all important Daddy-Daughter conversations as we approach those teen years:

 C (9 y/o): I have a girl body and two hairs!

Turns out, she was playing with LEGO and stating that she had found the girl body, and two different plastic hairstyles for it.

Being full...

Dinner times are always filled with sparkling conversation at our house:

S (6 y/o, sitting at the table with a small amount of dinner left): Daddy, I'm full! I know I'm full because I feel full, and also I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

The Cranberries meet the Phantom of the Opera...

I like to encourage appreciation of all kinds of music, which sometimes leads to some interesting spontaneous mash-ups in the oddest of ways. 

9 y/o (singing happily while performing some task): ♫♫ Zombie! Zombie! Zombie - ie - ie - oh - oh! ♫♫

11 y/o (completely unprompted, and with an overly dramatic voice, a-la the Phantom, from The Phantom of the Opera): Sing, my angel of music!

9 y/o (perfectly on beat, switches to the music of the night, from Phantom): ♫♫ Aaahh - aa-aa-  ah-ah-ah-aaah - aaaah! ♫♫