Saturday, 19 August 2017


In case any readers had questions about superheros on the loo, my son appears to have given the matter significant thought...

C (4-y/o son, completely unprompted. We weren't even talking about superheros or peeing) : Ironman can't pee because he doesn't have a bottom or a penis.

Me : But how does he not explode?

C : It's okay, Daddy. Tony Stark can pee when he pulls his pants down.

Thursday, 17 August 2017

Spanish Armada

Having children is #5...

Having to remove the rapidly disintegrating paper Spanish Armada from the bathroom sink before washing your hands.

Naked Fish Fingers

C (6-year old, holding up a fish finger with a very small section missing batter ) : I'm not eating my second fish finger because I don't like to see the fish!



While discussing why my 5-year old had not eaten her lunch at school:

D (5-years old) to her mother : "I couldn't eat my lunch today because I was too distracted by string."

Saturday, 12 August 2017

Screwing it up...

S (3 year old, handing me a clockwork toy) : Screw it up, Daddy!
Me: You mean, wind it up?
S : Yes, Daddy - screw it up!

Thursday, 3 August 2017


Mammy (to C, 6 years old) : I see you've not been busy tidying. (C was supposed to be emptying the dish-washer.)
C (6 years old) : I have been busy! I've been dancing with a spatula.

C and her affiliation with some secret (possibly criminal) organisation

D (8 years old): C (her sister, 6-years old) is terrible at keeping secrets
Me : I think that's probably okay. She doesn't have a lot of secrets to keep, does she?
D (very seriously) : What if she's part of a secret organisation and tells people about it and dies a slow of horrible death.
Me : Do you think that's likely?
D (equally seriously) : It's C.